Hold Space in a Good Way
Holding space means staying with someone in a time of change or uncertainty, without taking over, fixing, or rushing their process.
Many gatherings sit in an in-between place, where an old story's ending and a new one hasn't arrived yet. Our role's to help make it just safe enough, honest enough, and steady enough for something real to emerge.
Area 1
Holding space for yourself
Before we can hold space for others, we need to look after our own limits. You can think of this as the boundary that lets in what nourishes you and keeps out what harms you, while still allowing connection. Healthy limits help you say a true yes and a clear no.
You're invited to ask yourself:
- Do I have enough energy, support, and steadiness to hold this space today?
- What do I need to put down, or say no to, so I can be present in a good way?
- Who else can help hold this with me, so I'm not carrying it alone?
Holding space for yourself can look like taking breaks, asking for a co-facilitator, getting supervision or counselling, grounding your body, or stepping back when you're too close to the situation to see clearly. That's not selfish. It's what helps keep the space safer for everyone.
Area 2
Holding space for one person
When you hold space for another person, you're not there to manage their journey or rescue them. You're there to witness, to listen, and to offer just enough steadiness and care that they can feel what they feel without shame.
You might try to:
- Listen more than you speak. Let silence do some of the work.
- Resist the urge to jump in with advice, solutions, or quick reassurance.
- Name what you notice with kindness ("I notice your shoulders are tight," "This sounds really heavy") and then ask what they need.
- Trust their timing. Some people need to tell the story many times. Some need to sit in quiet.
Your intuition helps you decide when to simply witness and when to gently offer options, referrals, or a limit. If safety is at risk, or if harmful behaviour is directed at you or others, holding space may also mean saying clearly, "This isn't okay here," and helping to find more appropriate support.
Area 3
Holding space in community
In groups, holding space gets more complex. We're not just tending individuals. We're tending the whole room: the agreements, the power dynamics, the histories, and the feelings that are present.
You might try to:
- Set and revisit agreements that support honest sharing and reduce harm (confidentiality as appropriate, "I" language, making room for quieter voices, permission to pass).
- Notice who's centred and who isn't: whose stories are welcomed, whose pain is being minimized, who's carrying the most risk.
- Practise allyship, especially when you hold more power: listen deeply, believe people's experiences, and be willing to name patterns of harm in gentle but clear ways.
- Slow things down if the group is overwhelmed or sliding into blame or reactivity.
Sometimes, holding space in a group means noticing that you're not the right person to lead: when your own triggers are too strong, when you're part of the harm, or when the group needs leadership that's closer to their lived experience. In those moments, holding space in a good way can mean stepping back and helping to connect people with Elders, Knowledge Holders, peer supports, or other facilitators.
If you're new to holding space
Holding space is a skill. It can be learned. Nobody's born knowing how to run a circle or guide a prayer. Many of us were never shown these things in a good way, so it makes sense if you feel nervous or unsure.
You don't have to be an expert to offer a short opening. Start small. Pick one simple piece, a breath, a short welcome, or a land acknowledgement, and let the app carry some of the weight. Your confidence can grow from there.
Simple starter tips:
- Keep it short and gentle. You can always add more later.
- Use language that feels natural in your own mouth; edit any script so it sounds like you.
- Ask a colleague or Elder (if appropriate) to sit nearby or co-host, so you're not doing it alone.
- The goal isn't a perfect performance. The goal's to open a little more care and respect in the space.
If you don't feel safe or ready to hold space for a particular group or topic, it's okay to say no and to suggest someone else who may be better suited. That's also holding space in a good way.
Cultural Safety
Cultural safety means creating conditions where people, especially Indigenous peoples and others who've been harmed in similar spaces, can take part without their identities, experiences, or teachings being dismissed, tokenized, or violated. It asks us to look honestly at power, history, and impact, not just our intentions.
This app can't make a space culturally safe on its own. Cultural safety is built over time through relationship, accountability, and a willingness to change how we gather, decide, and speak together. Where there's tension between this tool and the guidance of local Nations, Elders, Knowledge Holders, or community leaders, their guidance comes first.
1. Acknowledging history and power
Many meetings, classrooms, and workplaces sit on lands where Indigenous peoples have faced dispossession, racism, and other harms, often at the hands of the very institutions hosting the gathering. For many people, especially Indigenous, Black, and other racialized folks, these spaces aren't neutral.
Cultural safety asks us to notice:
- Who holds formal power here (titles, roles, paycheques, decision-making authority).
- Who has less power, or has been harmed in similar spaces before.
- Whose jobs, reputations, or safety are most at risk if they speak honestly.
An opening in a good way doesn't erase these realities. It gently names that we're trying to move with more care inside them.
2. Centre those most affected
In many rooms, practices around "safety" quietly protect the comfort of those with the most power. Cultural safety shifts the question from "Is everyone comfortable?" to "Who's most affected here, and what do they need?"
You might ask yourself:
- Whose voices and needs are at the centre of this gathering?
- Whose bodies and stories carry the most risk in this conversation?
- If harm happens, who'll feel it most, and who'll walk away largely unchanged?
When there's a pull between protecting the comfort of those with more power and protecting the dignity of those with less, cultural safety asks us to lean toward dignity and justice, even when that feels uncomfortable.
3. Everyday practices of cultural safety
You don't need to be an expert to begin. You can start with small, concrete shifts in how you prepare, speak, and respond.
Before the gathering, consider:
- Land and relationship: Do I know whose land we're on, how they describe themselves, and whether there's guidance from local Nations about gatherings, prayer, land acknowledgements, or protocol?
- Who's in the room: How might Indigenous staff, students, or community members experience this space, given our organization's history? Who else may be carrying histories of harm here?
- Role clarity: Am I the right person to lead this? Is there someone closer to the community, or less caught up in the power dynamics, who should be in front or beside me?
During the gathering, you might:
- Offer clear opt-in and opt-out for openings, prayers, or practices, so nobody feels pressured into spiritual or cultural activities.
- Use "I" language and invite others to do the same, so people aren't spoken for or generalized.
- Watch for patterns: who gets interrupted, who gets deferred to, whose pain is quickly soothed or explained away.
- Gently interrupt comments or behaviours that put people down, stereotype them, or ignore what they're saying, even if it was meant as a joke.
After the gathering, cultural safety may mean following up with those most affected, inviting feedback, and being willing to adjust how you gather next time.
4. What not to do
Cultural safety is as much about what we choose not to do as what we add.
We try not to:
- Use songs, stories, medicines, ceremonies, or symbols that aren't ours to use, or that we don't have permission to share.
- Ask Indigenous or racialized participants to educate the room on their trauma or culture on the spot, unless they've chosen that role and are supported for it.
- Hide behind "good intentions" when someone tells us they were harmed. Instead, we listen, acknowledge the impact, and consider repair.
- Treat land acknowledgements or openings as a shield that proves we're "safe" or "good," rather than as one practice inside a longer journey of change.
5. Knowing your limits and asking for help
There'll be times when you're not the best person to hold space or to call something "culturally safe." Recognizing that can be an act of care, not failure.
You might say:
"I care about doing this in a good way, and I know my own limits. I'd like to check in with local Elders, Knowledge Holders, or community leaders before we go further."
or
"I'm noticing I don't have the skills or lived experience to support this conversation well on my own. Let's see who else we can invite in, or how we can adjust the plan."
Cultural safety is ongoing. We'll make mistakes. Holding space in a good way means staying humble, listening when people tell us we've missed something, and being willing to repair and keep shifting how we gather, so that more of us can arrive and speak in ways that are truly, not just symbolically, safe enough.
"Holding space in a good way isn't about being perfect or endlessly calm. It's a practice of humility, courage, curiosity, and care, one we grow into over time. We listen, we learn, we repair when we cause harm, and we keep coming back to the work of being a steady bowl around one another."